Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A laugh! Or two or three!


Here are 6 reasons why you should think before
>you speak - the last
> >one is
> >great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you
could immediately
> >take the
> >words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the
> >Testimonials
> >of a few people who did....
> >
> >
> >FIRST TESTIMONY:
> >I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
three kids in tow and
> >asked
> >loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a
blow job?" I
> >turned
> >around and walked back out and never went back. My
husband didn't
> >say a
> >word...he knew better.
> >
> >
> >SECOND TESTIMONY:
> >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds
of golf balls. I
> >was
> >unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for
> >several
> >minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who
> >works
>at
> >the store. He asked if he could help me. Without
thinking, I looked
> >at him
> >and said, "I think I like playing with men's
balls."
> >
> >
> >TH IRD TESTIMONY:
> >My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a
> >variety
> >of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the
display case, the boy
> >behind
> >the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
"No, I'm just
> >looking
> >at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
hysterically. The boy
> >grinned,
> >and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has
> >never let
> >me forget.
> >
> >
> >FOURTH TESTIMONY:
> >While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to
> >release some
> >pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her
> >after
> >receiving
>looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told
> >her
> >that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
would be
> >punished. To my
> >horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as
> >threatening,
> >"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw
> >you
> >kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence
was deafening after
> >this
> >enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped
what they were
> >doing. I
> >mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out
of the bank with
> >my
> >daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the
door closed behind
> >me,
> >were screams of laughter.
> >
> >
> >FIFTH TESTIMONY:
> >Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My
> >three-year-old
> >son had a lot of problems with potty training
>and was on him
> >constantly..
> >One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between
> >errands. It
> >was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I
> >smelled
> >something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter,
> >and
> >she was clean. The realized that Danny had not
asked to go potty in
> >a
> >while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he
said "No". I kept
> >thinking
> >"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I
don't have any
> >clothes with
> >me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't
have an accident?"
> >"No,"
> >he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because
> >the
> >smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you
> >have an
> >accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his
pants,
>bent over
> >and
> >spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!" While 30
> >people
> >nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he
calmly pulled up
> >his
> >pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel
better by thanking me
> >for
> >the best laugh they'd ever had!
> >
> >
> >
> >LAST TESTIMONY:
> >This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for
2 days and a
> >very
> >embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the
future, likely think
> >before
> >she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but
don't get any! We
> >had a
> >female news anchor that, the day after it was
supposed to have
> >snowed and
> >didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So
Bob, where's that 8
> >inches
> >you promised me last night?"
> >Not only did HE have to leave the set,
>but half the crew did too
> >they were
> >laughing so hard!
> >"About Life"
> >
> >
> >Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone
you know who needs
> >a
> >laugh
> >
Posted by Lisa Renee Jones :: 12:24 PM :: 1 comments

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